Let the Rioting Begin!

Forget the final score.  Forget the MVP.  The real intrigue as I’m typing this at the start of the fourth quarter is the over/under on the number of arrests (120), the number of burnt out cars (15), and the number of bowls `Sheed will be smoking (3) tonight as Detroit celebrates the Pistons championship.All jokes aside, God bless the Pistons.  They have taken down the mighty Lakers and given everyone hope that there is some justice in the world. (Two minutes into the Fourth and this is turning into an even bigger ass whooping.  I love this game!)  I love ABC right now.  They are showing shot after shot of Phil Jackson looking constipated, Malone looking pathetic, and Shaq looking confused as always.  Look at Kobe.  Wouldn’t accept that he needed Shaq’s dominance in the middle and will suffer a humiliating series defeat.  What uniform will he be wearing next year?  Will it be the Knicks? The Suns?  Or the County Blues?

The absolute best part about the Lakers losing is listening to the experts try to talk their way out of picking LA to win this championship easily.  I am very interested in how my favorite journalist, Stephen “A is for ..” Smith, is going to backpedal on this one.  You figured his nose was so far in the Lakers’ collective asses, that it’d take him at least a week to get out.  But SAS is a very smart journalist.  He already started his retreat after game 4 and he’s very good at blowing hot air.  So by the time he finishes yelling at the camera on ESPN’s NBA2Nite, he’ll have distanced himself enough to claim he thought Detroit had a great chance.  If I remember correctly, didn’t he call the East a JV conference with no shot whatsoever?  

This is a huge sense of relief for me.  I’m glad the Finals are over.  Not just because the Lakers lost but because now the real fun can start!  The WNBA is coming Saturday!  I don’t know why this period is called the Dead Zone in sports.  We have the WNBA!  OK.  That’s my last anti-WNBA sentiment for a while.  It’s not that I have anything against them, I just hate when entities (that’s you RIAA) try to force shitty products upon us.  Look, women’s basketball is fine.  I’m sure some people enjoy it.  But these promos are killing me.  The NBA loses millions  a year on the league and they refuse to pull the plug.  There hasn’t been  this much irrational holding on to a failure since Rebecca Romijn before she finally wised up and dropped the -Stamos.  

But enough vitriol.  Congratulations to Larry Brown.  As I said in my last column, he has faults, but he’s a winner.  Now, no one can say that he’s never won the big one.  Seemed that he knew what he was doing after all.  Perhaps we were wrong about Iverson.  Maybe he would’ve been better served to listen to Brown.  We talkin’ about champion!  Not coach. Champion Larry Brown!  

Enjoy this, Detroit.  We even forgive you for Kid Rock.

Random Thoughts

You didn’t think I’d finish up without some random thoughts did you?

· F Jack Nicholson.  Why is he even there.  Someone should throw a beer at him.
· This Tacoma commercial with the crazy girlfriend is very very disturbing.  You know there are girls like that too.  Most of them are married to my friends.
· Did Will Smith just graduate from the Al Pacino school of overacting? “Is that REGISTERING WITH YOU?!”
· Desperate Housewives?  Who is responsible for new programming at ABC?  Did they hire him away from the WB?
· What purpose does Stu Scott serve?  I don’t mean just at the Finals.  I mean in general.
· Thank god we never have to hear that Black Eyed Peas song again. For a “real” band, that was a goddamn travesty. They should be ashamed. That song sounded like someone who does the Coors commercials wrote it. I’m not sure the peas ever had a ghetto pass, but it should be revoked.
· Finally, I want to acknowledge The Onion, which consistently sees the line of good taste and jumps right over it.  The Nancy Reagan bit is pure genius.