(originally posted 8/18/2003)
(3) Indiana vs (6) Boston
This is the easiest playoff series to predict. Boston will run their offense like a well oiled machine, which basically involves getting the rebound or inbound and running down the court at full speed. Then either Pierce, Walker, or Williams will jack it up from the three point line. Unfortunately, they will shoot about 11% from there. Other statistics to watch for: Average Number of Passes per Possesion: 0.30.
Bonus: Walker hits a three pointer in the final seconds of game 4. However, it only brings the Celtics within 24 points. Despite the scoreboard, `Twoine decides to do his little shimmy shake. Bill Walton runs out and clotheslines him at midcourt. Throw it down, big man!
Indiana in four.
(1) Detroit vs (8) Magic
I thought the Magic had a shot to pull off a Denver in this series. (And I don’t mean McGrady walking into a room and yelling, “Who wants to sex McGrady?”) But then I remembered that there’s nobody who can play on this team not named Tracy. Unless he pulls a bunch of bounce it off the backboard to himself dunks, McGrady is going to get no help from anyone.
If Ben Wallace isn’t playing well because of injury, then Orlando might make it a good series. But the pick is Detroit in five.
(2) New Jersey vs (7) Milwaukee
Milwaukee is on a hot streak right now, going 8-2 in their last 10 games. But unless they miraculously start playing defense, they’re not going to make any noise in the playoffs. The Bucks, like the Raptors, were oh so close to becoming an elite team two years ago. Then the bottom fell out last year (monumental collapse is not an overstatement) and they had to rally to even make the playoffs this year. New Jersey is completely overrated but they will beat Milwaukee.
Bonus: The most annoying free throw rituals will be in this series.
New Jersey in six.
(4) Philadelphia vs (5) New Orleans
This is going to be a hell of a series. Philly could’ve made it easier on themselves and gotten the three seed. But the Sixers decided that if fourth was good enough for the Flyers, then dammit, it was good enough for them.
Sixers will lose Game 1 because, well, they usually do. What’s the point of being the higher seed if you cant lose homecourt advantage right away? Reservations are now being taken at the Walt Whitman Bridge for post game 1 festivities. But don’t fret, Philly fans, the Sixers will win this series in 7.
Bonus: Iverson will yell at the referee on average 5 times a game. Tyrone “The Crypt Keeper” Hill will have 27 passes bounces off his hands and miss another 14 layups. Eric Snow will be reunited with George Papadapoulis in a tearful reunion after Game 7.